10 Tools for Creating Satisfaction in Your Relationship

There is more to get than you know

Webster describes satisfaction as: a fulfillment of a need or want and the quality or state of being. If you are not feeling satisfied in your relationship, these ten tips will help you achieve that very important goal.

1. Recognize each other for your commitment and caring. The number one motivator of people is recognition. Saying to your partner that you recognize their efforts to make your relationship great is the best gift you could give to her or him. Letting someone you love know that they have added to your life just by being present is one of the highest compliments you can give.

2. Share in creating a positive and emotionally comfortable living environment. Love cannot thrive in a negative environment. If you have developed a “downer” lifestyle, where neither one of you tries to lift the other out of the doldrums, it prevents both of you from finding emotional and even physical comfort—no matter how great your lifestyle. Keeping it positive helps everyone in the household (even your cat) enjoy their lives more.

3. Make your relationship meaningful—work together to create something worthwhile. Everyone wants to be part of something greater than they are. Whether it’s contributing to your community, your faith or the world, doing it as a couple will add depth and a sense of higher purpose to your relationship. This has the effect of making you feel that being with your partner has helped others.

4. Be responsible for your actions. If you make a mistake own up to it sooner rather than later and always do it completely. This gets it out of the way of your relationship and allows easier healing because neither of you has given the problem time to fester and grow. Problems left unattended have puppies. In other words when you are not responsible for your actions, it creates more problems.

5. Be accountable for your commitments. When you make a promise keep it. Not remaining faithful to your word erodes the trust necessary for a relationship to not just stay alive, but to thrive. Once you break your word, your partner may have difficulty believing you will be there for them the next time.

6. Balance the work and the rewards. Trade off household duties every now and then; it will help your partner feel they are in a balanced relationship. If you are in a relationship where one of you works and the other takes care of the home and children, you need to make sure that the stay at home partner has equal access to the income and benefits that are brought into the relationship. 

7. Help each other grow and learn. Encourage partners to take care of himself or herself by getting educated and working on themselves. People who are not growing do not feel good about themselves and this will cause them to feel they are bringing less into the relationship.

8. Give your partner the opportunity to be their best. When you know your partner takes pride in certain tasks or parts of themselves support her or him in succeeding at those activities. The last thing you want to do is to make your partner feel that you don’t respect their efforts. Remember that greatness in any one area leads to greatness in all areas.

9. Understand your partners motivation and stresses. If you know that your partner has difficulty talking with the accountant, dealing with the phone company, or other tasks of living, take on that responsibility. If they respond to certain forms of kindness or affection be sure you know how they like to be given to and offer them those gifts. Trying to motivate someone in the same way you like to be motivated may not work for him or her.

10. Keep it interesting. Do nice things for no reason (for example, I keep a few little gifts stashed so I can give them to my partner when she is having a difficult moment.) Greet your partner with enthusiasm when you see them at the end of the day and keep some spontaneity in the relationship.

Understanding the need for feeling satisfied and contributing to that necessity in your relationship will make both of you happier people. These tips will help you and your partner maintain a fulfilling relationship, and will prevent both of you from feeling that you “can’t get no… satisfaction.”