By Elena Weissmann
Throughout our lives, most of us are continually striving for one thing: happiness. We move around the country, we switch jobs, we make close friends, we fall in love, we adopt puppies, we travel to distant places—all in a constant effort to attain this ephemeral sense of gratitude and fulfillment, contentment and hopefulness.
But what does happiness even mean, and what is the right way to achieve it? In order to find some answers, I walked around Madison Square Park in Manhattan and asked strangers about happiness. Turns out, no one really agrees. Some said happiness lies in a hot dog; others said it lies in the connection between humans bodies experienced in Acroyoga. Read on to discover more secrets to happiness.
Source: Elena Weissmann
Jeremy, yoga instructor and personal trainer
Are you happy at the moment? Yes. I do acroyoga. It’s kind of like yoga, except with yoga everything is all about you, and with acro, everything is all about the connection. I get to hang out with other people, and do shit all the time. That is what makes it fun for me. I used to be kind of a depressed tightwad, but then this just kind of brought me out of my shell a lot.
Do you think there’s a secret to happiness? Contentment. The whole “grass is greener on the other side thing,” that shit sucks. Not everything is so bad. I have this analogy: we have all of our fingers and toes, so anything that happens to us that we think is bad, it’s only really like we spilled wine on our pretty pink dress, because everything else is pretty fucking good.
What has been the happiest moment in your life? To the crazy guy in Union Square, I’m like, “What’s your favorite moment?” And he’s like “NOWWWW.” There’s something fantastically insane about that, but very true.
Source: Elena Weissmann
Julie, teacher from France
Are you happy at the moment? I think I am. Right now I’m visiting New York, eating a hot dog, so yes. If I were sitting on a bench, I would be happy, if I were walking the street, I would be happy. As long as I’m here, I’m happy.
Do you think there’s a secret to happiness? Happiness is something that depends on the person, but for me it would be being able to let go more often.
What has been the happiest moment in your life? The birth of my daughters. Also, viva New York!
Source: Elena Weissmann
Steven, actor
Are you happy at the moment? No. I’m having trouble working out a contract with production right now, so that’s why.
Do you think there’s a secret to happiness? I hope so. Happiness is a fluctuating thing. It’s the reason I wake up every day, the reason I do anything at all. It’s because I hope to be happy. Is there a secret? I hope the secret would be to find your intentions, understand who you are, and follow that path. There’s no constant feeling of happiness for me though.
What has been the happiest moment in your life? I can’t really place that. When it is the happiest moment in my life, I don’t know if I’ll be able to realize it.
Source: Elena Weissmann
Sierra (left), graduate student in international law. Lara (right), "professional traveler"
Are you happy at the moment?
Sierra: Yeah. Everyone has complaints, but I would say, overall, yeah.
Lara: No. I’m trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. It just makes me sick to my stomach to think about going back to a 9 to 5 job where I’m like a slave for a salary that barely allows me to pay my rent, and then doing work that’s just not fulfilling. I just don’t know what I’m gonna do next.
Do you think there’s a secret to happiness?
Sierra: That’s a very difficult and broad question.
Lara: Gratitude helps a lot. I saw my psychiatrist the other day and she told me "imagine that tomorrow you had some sort of accident and you were disfigured, and you would do anything to go back to how your life was yesterday."
What has been the happiest moment in your life?
Sierra: I was dating this guy for five years, and he was an undocumented student. I paid for all his international tuition, but he was super ungrateful the whole time. But just recently, he wrote me a thank you note, and I don’t know, I guess I was happy that someone actually came around and was grateful. I ended up genuinely helping someone else.
Lara: I just came back from a trip from Israel and Turkey. I’m always happy when I’m on vacation, I mean, who isn’t? Anyway, I met this guy from Norway and I just had a great time with him and felt completely myself and so in the moment. There are very few times when I’m in the moment—I’m usually so much in my head. We just went out dancing and I actually liked myself, and there aren’t a lot of times where I actually like myself. So I felt truly happy.
Source: Elena Weissmann
Eric, business and life coach
Are you happy at the moment? Right now I’m happy talking to you. But I’m also happy, excited, and anxious today. I have a lot to do. My kid just graduated college, and he's moving out of the house. So there’s a lot of change going on.
Do you think there’s a secret to happiness? Do what you love, be around people who treat you with respect and kindness, and be willing to change if it’s not working out.
What has been the happiest moment in your life? I have two children, and I think just spending time with them and watching them grow has been pretty awesome. The birth is pretty shocking.
Source: Elena Weissmann
Lyman (left) and Aminu (right), tourists from Nigeria
Are you happy at the moment? Both: Yes!
Do you think there’s a secret to happiness?
Lyman: There is. We’re here in the free world, new world, new ideas, newenvironment. No worries, no problems.
Aminu: Company. If you have a good friend, a good companion, that increases happiness.
What has been the happiest moment in your life?
Lyman: Having children. I have someone born from my genes—the happiest moment of my life.
Aminu: The day I got married.
Source: Elena Weissmann
Mina, doctor
Are you happy at the moment? Yeah. It’s a nice day, and I'm sitting in the park.
Do you think there’s a secret to happiness? I think the secret to happiness is in your mindset. So it doesn’t matter what you do or who you are, you can be happy anywhere. And I think we limit how happy you can be or not be. So it all depends on your mindset.
What has been the happiest moment in your life? I don’t think there’s a particular moment—lots of little moments.
Source: Elena Weissmann
Masaya, high school sophomore. Favorite subject: history
Are you happy at the moment? I don’t know. I guess? I’m happy with some things and I’m not happy with other things.
Do you think there’s a secret to happiness? I think it’s different for everyone. Not everyone sees happiness the same—it’s subjective. What I find happy might not be what someone else finds happy.
What has been the happiest moment in your life? When my brother came back from the army. I was just really excited to see him because we grew up together, and he was gone a long time. So when he came back I was very happy.
Elena Weissmann is a former Psychology Today editorial intern.
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